Published on August 11th, 2018 | by Jelena D0
How to Be an Active Fratdaddy Within Your Fraternity
J.I. Semester: You have just been initiated. Party like there’s no tomorrow, show up to everything drunk, including; meetings, church, sports events and class, class? Fuck class, get a hot chick or sorostitute to sign you into class and do assignments for you, repay them by going to their date parties, casuals, or formals with them. Go to class four times a year, and that would be test days.
Sophomore Year: Party like a seasoned veteran. Show up to everything inebriated and smelling like aged Kentucky whiskey. Continue with your academic career like you did as a J.I. Keep experimenting with expensive drugs; deny that you have ever used any drugs. Plow through Sorostitutes like your Great Great Grandfather’s slaves cultivated his cotton plantation. Haze pledges with a passion, make at least two of them cry during hell week, in the end they will respect you for this.
Junior Year: Keep drinking and partying just as much, however, start going to class and getting more serious about your academic career. Keep hazing pledges; however, take one as your little brother. Run for an executive position within your Fraternity.
Senior Year: Get even more serious about academics, you don’t want to live at the FratCastle your entire life. Do not show up to as many events as you did before, however, when you do, show up dangerously intoxicated. Think about getting a Sorostitute girlfriend. Be downbeat about everything, have bitch fits at the meeting if you are not an officer.
5+ Year Senior: If you are not already graduated (which I’m 95% sure you’re not). Show up to even less events, and when you do, show up lethally inebriated. This is the time in your fraternal career where you cement your legendary status within the history books of your Fraternity. Complain about dues and better yet refuse to pay them, the guy who is collecting money for dues is probably the same guy that you made cry three years earlier because of an infamous hazing session you implemented. Go out with a bang